Forgiveness: Intimacy's Forgotten Virtue

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Forgiveness: Intimacy’s Forgotten Virtue
Research has shown that forgiveness is an important factor in marital satisfaction and that long term marriages have shown that being willing to forgive is an important part of their longevity. 1 Here is a video that I recorded sharing a few ideas about forgiveness in marriages.
Forgiveness Video
Practice
            The more we practice to forgive and ask for forgiveness the easier it will become. Our hearts will change, and we will find that our relationships will be stronger and more intimate. Sometimes the acts of our partners are bigger than small everyday annoyances. Maybe there has been betrayal, trust has been broken and forgiveness seems just too hard. In those moments it may take more than what we can do on our own and with each other. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a spiritual leader, or a professional counselor. There are ways to rebuild trust in a relationship after betrayal. Couples can find forgiveness. Here is a scene from the movie Fireproof where a husband and wife have found the sweet joy of being able to forgive after betrayal in their marriage.
Fireproof
The greatest gift
I believe that forgiveness is one of the most important things we can learn to do for our marriages and for the intimacy in them. Luskin says, “Being loved is the greatest gift any of us will ever be given. We need to remain aware of the importance and fragility of this gift and to try to treat our partner with a gentle kindness. When you choose to forgive your lover and yourself, you honor that goal.”2


  
Challenge
            This week keep track of how many times you use the 20 words mentioned in the video. How does it change how you feel towards your spouse? How does it change the feelings in your marriage?
I was wrong
You are right
I am sorry
Thank you
I forgive you
Please forgive me
I love you


Please take a moment and fill out our survey. Let us know what you think. Leave a comment in the comment boxes and share how the challenge went this week.  Thank you.
Survey


“Disclaimer: the authors of this online curriculum are not therapists, and are not authorized to give personalized advice to any of the readers. The content of this lesson plan is the creation of the author’s alone and does not represent any other entity or organization.”



References
1.     Gaspard, T. (2016). How forgiveness can transform your marriage. Retrieved from: https://www.gottman.com/blog/forgiveness-can-transform-marriage/
2.    Luskin, F. (2009). Forgive for love: The missing ingredient for a healthy and lasting relationship. New York, NY: Harper One
3.    McNulty, J. (2008). Forgiveness in marriage: Putting the benefits into context. Journal of Family Psychology, 22(1), 171-175. doi: 10.1037/0893-3200.22.1.171
4.    Tuli, G., & Mehrotra, S. (2017). Forgiveness as a factor in marital quality. Indian Journal of Health and Well-being, 8(10), 1265-1267. http://www.i-scholar.in/index.php/ijhw/article/view/162575
5.    Wright, H. N. (2012). Communication: Key to your marriage. Grand Rapids, MI: Bethany House Publishers


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